This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize