Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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