i love accidental penises.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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