we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Still dying that you shit outside
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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