The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
