she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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