Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
