I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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