Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
