He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
