Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
