Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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