the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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