I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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