So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Come see our sink grown plant.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
