her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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