if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
