her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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