singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dick very happy bro
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
