I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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