I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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