I just threw up on my dentist
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
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