she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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