What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
