What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
