Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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