Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
