is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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