Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
