I'm lost and stupid without you.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
