Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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