My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
