Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
