I feel like abortions should bother me more
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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