coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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