Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I need to sanitize my soul.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
