just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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