doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
