I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
