She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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