I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize