So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
