I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
