You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
