i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
