Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
