fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
