Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
