Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
