Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The air taste purple.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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