I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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