So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
