Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
vagina is talking i cant
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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