Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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