ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
