I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
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And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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