i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize