I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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