I just saw a hot homeless man
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
