Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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