so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
